Day 5: What song inspires you

This song says it all.  Through all that I have been through in my life and until current day, this song help me to keep on going!

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Day 4: Your parents- Mother

My Mother was a teen mother as well.  while I have no memories of being an infant, she looked so happy to be a mother.  Every photo we have of her holding me she is so happy and smiling.  I was a difficult child growing up.  I sure tested her patience.  Although I was not diagnosed until I was 22 with Aspergers, it is believed that I had this all my childhood.  During those years however there was not much knowledge into Autism. 

Mother and I were always close.  She was always there for me to talk to.  She often worked 2 jobs just to pay bills and provide for us.  She was getting no child support from my Dad so she had to do it all on her own.  I still remember how hard she always worked.  I enjoyed spending time with my Mother coloring and doing jigsaw puzzles together.  Something we still do to this day.  Over the years we have gotten closer .  She was there for the birth of all my children.  She has been blessed with seven grandchildren.

Over the last 4 years has been a real struggle for my Mother.  She was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.  She has two tumors the size of an orange and the other a grapefruit.  Things happened so fast and she was rushed into surgery.  At this time I lived in Idaho and she in Colorado.  I flew out immediately to be by her side.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  Prior to surgery on of the tumors had ruptured.  This "spilled" the cancer all into her abdomen.  She recovered very well after surgery and was up on her feet much sooner than expected.  Everything was looking great.  It wasn't long after surgery that she would start chemo.  Chemo went really well.  She had no nausea or vomiting.  She had good days full of energy and others that  required her to rest.  Six months later it was found through a mammogram that she had a tumor in her breast.  After a biopsy confirmed it was cancer she was in for radiation.  She did this everyday for  several weeks.  After the cancer scares back to back I knew I needed to go home.  We moved the whole family to Colorado to be close.

After we moved to Colorado it wasn't long before the Ovarian Cancer came back.  Once again she did chemotherapy.  This was suspected to happen since genetic testing proved she had a gene mutation believed to be causing the cancer.  Again she endured the chemo therapy.  This round was much harder on her body.  She developed an allergic reaction to the chemo drug that was used in the previous treatment.  Chemo was stopped and a new drug started.  Then to our surprise she developed blood clots in her lungs.  She was put into the hospital and again the chemo was delayed.  However she bounced back and finished chemo.  Unfortunately we have learned that the cancer is back once again.  This time only 6 months since the last chemo.  No treatment at this time until it is known where the tumor is growing.

My Mother has been so brave and strong during all of this.  When it seems like it is too much for someone to endure she proves her strength and keeps going.  I admire her so much.  Although I know that Cancer will take her from me as well, I will be by her side until then.  She has been an amazing Mother always trying to do her best.  She has successfully  raised two beautiful daughters who have become more than she ever imagined.

Day 4: Your parents- Dad

 William Guy Shepherd 09-29-59 to 04-07-93

My Dad was a teen father.  I have very few memories of him before my parents separation.  I was five when Mom left.  Dad was in the Army and was stationed in Germany for an extended period of time while I was growing up.  Most communication was lost between the ages of 5-13.  When I was 13 I was back in contact with him.  I desired a relationship from him.  I had gone out to spend the summer with him that year.  Unfortunately we had a lot to learn about each other.  I knew very little about him, his opinions and views in life.  We had a disagreement and I wanted to go back home.  Little did I know that would be the last time I ever saw him again.  I had gone back home in July and by December he was in the hospital. 

At first it was thought that he had a severe case of the flu, until I got a phone call at school.  I remember this day like it was yesterday.  I talked to my Dad and he told me he had Cancer.  He insisted that he was going to be okay but I knew different.  I felt it in my heart and my gut.  This news came in near the end of March.  My Dad was given about 3 months to live.  His last wish was to see his two girls.  We had plans to go see him in the hospital within a few days.  Unfortunately we never made it to see him nor him seeing us.  He only lived 7 days after his diagnosis.  I try to believe that it was Gods will that I remember him before he was so ill.  My Dad was only 33 years old when Pancreatic Cancer took his life.  He did not want to have a funeral service and so I never got to say good-bye.  I never got to know my Dad and he never got to meet his grandchildren. 

Although it has been 19 years this year, I still live with SO much regret.  I have learned a lot but have not found peace.  I wish I had more to say about who he was.

Day 3: Your First Love

My first real true love is my husband.  We have been married for 10 years this March, however we have been friends for over 18 years.

True love to me is defined as some one whom is a friend and a lover.  Someone that accepts you in the good times and the bad.  Lord knows I am very high maintenance.  Kirk has always been able to handle me and my differences like no other.  He is a very dedicated and loving husband.  I am always put before any of his needs.  

During the delivery of our children he was right by my side.  He slept in the reclining chairs next to me the entire time, not leaving until I left.

When I was diagnosed with cancer he was my strength every step of the way.  When I had my surgery he was there as well the entire time.  When it came time for me to have radiation therapy staying with me was harder.  I was in isolation.  Kirk was not going to let this stop him from being near me.  The nurses let him sleep outside my door just in the doorway.  This was hard for him because he was not allowed to enter the room to help me or comfort me.  He still insisted on being there the entire 2 day stay.  

Kirk is the reason I went back to school to get my high school diploma.  He encouraged me that it was never to late.  He found a program where I would earn my high school credits and receive an actual high school diploma.  I also wouldn't settle for less.  7 years after dropping out of high school I received my diploma.  That gave me back all my dreams.  Now I was really motivated.

 I started college 6 years later.  Kirk was there to help me study.  Although medical terminology bored him to near tears he spent countless hours going over and over the terms until I had them all memorized.  He never became frustrated and never declined helping me.  Throughout all 4 years of my college education it was a roller coaster.  When I felt like I couldn't possibly continue he was there to encourage me.   I wanted to quit, because I was working as well as going to school, I never had much time with the kids.  He reminded me that this was all for the kids and there would be many more years to come.  It would get easier with time.

So I must say that Kirk is my one and only love.  The moon in my galaxy.

Four Feet In Heaven- RIP Tigger

Your favorite chair is vacant now...

No eager purrs to greet me.

No softly padded paws to run

Ecstatically to meet me.

No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry

Will say it's time for feeding.

I've put away your bowl, and all

The things you won't be needing;

But I will miss you little friend,

For I could never measure

The happiness you brought me,

The comfort and the pleasure.

And since God put you here to share

In earthly joy and sorrow;

I'm sure there'll be a place for you

In Heaven's bright tomorrow...

Alice E. Chase

Day 2: Nicknames

I only have a few nicknames.

• Brookelynn (My favorite)
• Brookie
• Cookie

Day 1 of 30 Day Challenge

I have tried before to write a blog to only become bored with it within a few postings.  I had seen a challenge to answer and post some questions over a 30 day period.  I thought this was a great way for me to stay interested, so here it goes.

Day 1: Introduce yourself,  post recent picture of yourself &15 interesting facts.
My name is Brooke.  I am blessed to be a mother to 7 Amazing children. 

My 15 interesting facts

1. I have a large  "collection" of boxes and bags.  I like to put things inside of things?!
2. I would like to adopt a child.
3. At 23 years old I was diagnosed with Cancer.
4. I am unable to sleep nude. (TMI I am sure) :)
5. I am the happiest when there is snow on the ground or it is snowing.
6. I am most depressed when it rains or is cloudy.
7. My favorite flower is a carnation.  I don't like roses.
8. My favorite animal is a Killer whale.
9. I have never traveled outside the United States.
10. I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 22.
11. I have 3 children under the Autism Spectrum.
12. I was a high school dropout but have since defied all statistics by getting my high school diploma and have obtained 2 degree's. All while working full time with 7 children!!
13. I have married the man of my dreams.  He is my prince charming!
14. I am an Aunt to unborn twins.
15. I look forward to being a Grandma!!