Day 4: Your parents- Dad

 William Guy Shepherd 09-29-59 to 04-07-93

My Dad was a teen father.  I have very few memories of him before my parents separation.  I was five when Mom left.  Dad was in the Army and was stationed in Germany for an extended period of time while I was growing up.  Most communication was lost between the ages of 5-13.  When I was 13 I was back in contact with him.  I desired a relationship from him.  I had gone out to spend the summer with him that year.  Unfortunately we had a lot to learn about each other.  I knew very little about him, his opinions and views in life.  We had a disagreement and I wanted to go back home.  Little did I know that would be the last time I ever saw him again.  I had gone back home in July and by December he was in the hospital. 

At first it was thought that he had a severe case of the flu, until I got a phone call at school.  I remember this day like it was yesterday.  I talked to my Dad and he told me he had Cancer.  He insisted that he was going to be okay but I knew different.  I felt it in my heart and my gut.  This news came in near the end of March.  My Dad was given about 3 months to live.  His last wish was to see his two girls.  We had plans to go see him in the hospital within a few days.  Unfortunately we never made it to see him nor him seeing us.  He only lived 7 days after his diagnosis.  I try to believe that it was Gods will that I remember him before he was so ill.  My Dad was only 33 years old when Pancreatic Cancer took his life.  He did not want to have a funeral service and so I never got to say good-bye.  I never got to know my Dad and he never got to meet his grandchildren. 

Although it has been 19 years this year, I still live with SO much regret.  I have learned a lot but have not found peace.  I wish I had more to say about who he was.